Fear Faith (Trust) & Control

Posted by Janelle Brown on

I have realized over time that there are three pretty powerful forces at work in my life.  They apply across many aspects of my world including my relationships and spirituality.  And, even more so, they play into my emotional eating patterns.

Those forces are… drum roll please…

Fear, Faith and Control

As I get older I begin to realize I have always been a FEARful creature.  I was plagued with self-doubt as a child, as perhaps, many of you were also.  It is hard to grow up as teen girl in the United States.  So many unrealistic and unattainable beauty ideals to live up to.

But before those teenage years I also had a whole laundry list of unreasonable and sometimes debilitating phobias, including dogs (after as a young child, I had to shield myself from a mean one); crossing the street (after a child at our school was hit and killed) and the beach (after I stepped on a jelly fish at the tender age of 4 and got stung badly).  I watched some of my children grow up with the same emotional composition, eventually growing out of it, just as I did.

How did I do this? I learned to act tougher than I was.  I learned to take care of myself.  I learned to TRY and CONTROL everyone and everything to ensure the outcome of, whatever the situation was, didn’t create problems for me.  

Optimal word being “TRY” in this scenario.

Often, very often, when the control thing didn’t work.  I would find myself retreating to the bowl of whatever or drowning out the doubt with too many slices of pizza (my “go to” emotional food choice).  Sometimes trying to soothe my anxiousness, and, sometimes, as illogical as it seems, with thoughts of “I’ll show you.  I am going to show you how powerful, how in control I am by eating this whole thing and no one is going to stop me.”  

I hope that many of you that struggle with emotional eating patterns as I do find this completely understandable.

 Then very slowly I began to understand FAITH.

Now, before you tune me out thinking this is a religious lecture, hang with me.  This isn’t about only that kind of faith, although for me, that does fit in here.  Maybe this kind of faith is more like TRUST.

Trusting that I could be flexible and adjust as everyone made their own choices.  And trusting that I would still be ok as these choices affected me. (In reality, I often fared better when I stopped trying to control and just let the choices of others just play out.) 

I am finding that as I fear less, attempt to control less, exercise faith and trust more, my life is becoming so much more PEACEFUL.  And guess what? The emotional eating is subsiding more and more each day.


Janelle Brown is a certified health coach.  As such she provides support, accountability and occasionally some cheer-leading for her clients.  She is passionate about helping real women with real life challenges navigate their way to increased wellness and quality of life.  Check out her website here https://strivewithjanelle.com/collections/health-coaching

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  • Thank you for your honesty and transparency Janelle! Today and in the moment I came across your blog I was struggling with just this thing….fear and faith and control. I have a very strong faith however still struggle with trying to control my circumstances and yes sometimes with food. This message was perfectly timed for me and I know you and I both believe it was no accident. I love your show and sharing once again of your truth. It likely helps more people than you know! Thank you so much and may the Lord’s blessing be abundantly upon you and your family!

    Colleen 🙏❤

    Colleen Lawlor on
  • Thanks Janelle – this really resonated with me. I grew up fearful but didn’t show it; it was my secret. Many people who know me are surprised to hear this, because I come across very strong and confident. Fake it til you make it, right? It took me a long time to realize that openly addressing whatever I am afraid of is way less scary than pretending to be someone I’m not and having to find ways to cope with maintaining the illusion. And when I practice faith, which for me is accepting that no matter what all is going to be ok, it changes the thoughts I have about fear and why there’s really no sense in it. It has allowed me to lighten up in so many ways, including dropping those pesky 30 pounds that I allowed to weigh me down for so many years because I was afraid of what would happen if they weren’t there. Have a wonderful day!

    Luanne on
  • This resonates janelle. Thanks for insight x

    Judith on
  • This is my first read of yours..I started following you only a couple of months ago because I found out my daughter follows you..sorry just background..this made a little dent with me which for me is saying something so thanks..Cindy

    Cindy on
  • I just wanted to say that is a very powerful message and very glad I read it cause I can relate to it as well. Keep the blogs coming I love reading them.

    Thanks Liz Bedea

    Liz Bedea on

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